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Tuesday, 30 September 2014 02:31

Damaged by an Infant Circumcision Gone Right

This is going to be a VERY personal and controversial article. If you don't want to know the most intimate details of my life, and why I am so opposed to circumcision, DON'T READ any further!

You have been warned.
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When I say I was damaged by infant circumcision, I should be specific.

There wasn't anything immediately wrong with the genital cutting I was subjected to. No excess bleeding, no infection, nothing to indicate anything other than a “perfectly” circumcised penis. The doctor and thus my parents were quite happy with the immediate result. Frankly, other than a few hurtful comments about how short my penis appeared as a child, I didn't know any different.

Puberty changed everything.

You see, it is impossible to tell how much penile skin a baby will need when he grows up. His tiny penis isn't developed yet. Doctors have to guess how much of the mobile structure of the penis to destroy--they often guess wrong. The two most common late term complications include, the removal of too much skin (which happened to me), and removal of too little, causing other nasty complications.

Without enough slack skin, the bulk of my penis had been trapped my whole life; making my penis look shorter than it really was. With the onset of major growth during puberty, this became a problem. Growing, coupled with each and every erection I hadI was in tremendous amounts of pain.

At times, my penile skin literally split under the tension. With less than half the shaft skin I should have had, my growing penis had nowhere to go. At no time before puberty did anyone notice this, because let's face it, some kids are just less endowed than others. Really what parent or doctor is going to try to get a young child erect to see if he has enough skin? (No, thankfully nothing like that ever happened. That would have been a whole other level of child abuse!)

The growth and erections of my teen years left me with stretch marks and awful scarring. Until I was almost fifteen years old masturbation was actually an impossibility for me due to the tight skin. Oh, I would get just as horny as all the other boys, I just couldn't do anything about it because of the pain it caused me.

I never told my parents about any of this. Let's face it, teenage boys DO NOT talk to their parents about their penis or masturbation habits.

With no one to talk to about it, I logically assumed all my sexual problems were my own fault. I blamed myself for not being masculine enough. I blamed myself for being defective.

Twice before I was eighteen I tried to kill myself because of my perceived failings as a man. If I'd have had access to a gun, I wouldn't be here today.

When I finally had sex, I was disturbed to discover I just couldn't feel anything from my partner. Years of scarring and thickening of the skin left me with an insensitive member that wasn't equal to the task. The only way my penis could feel anything was during masturbation, and that was with a death grip that could crush full beer cans. While a vagina has some grip, it has nowhere near enough for me to have felt what I should have.

This led to years of depression, self blame, and a lot worse. I had to fake orgasms with women. Yes, I was the one doing the faking. (Maybe she was too.) It was devastating to my psyche. Eventually it was just too much work, and the relationships would break down due to a lack of intimacy.

I came across foreskin restoration a few years ago, and it was a purely cosmetic choice for myself. I had grown up around my intact cousins, and I always felt my penis was wrong looking. The idea of hiding my horrible scars under a fold of skin sounded intensely appealing.

Within the first few months of starting foreskin restoration I noticed a change. As I slowly developed more slack skin, my penis slowly began to heal for the first time since I'd started puberty. The more slack skin I had, the better things functioned.

By the time I developed enough slack skin to again cover the glans properly, I was sold.

When the skin covers the glans, the glans starts to heal and shed all the dry, thickened skin that has built up over the years. My sensitivity magnified a hundred fold. Also, shedding the thickened skin and healing the glans allowed the scaring around my meatus to soften. Pain I had had my entire life while urinating suddenly disappeared. That pain was so constant and expected, that I thought it was normal. My mind had become so accustomed to the pain that it no longer registered. Only when the pain was gone did I finally realize the levels I had dealt with. The sudden lack of a pain, that I had endured my entire life, was a true revelation.

Eventually I researched and discovered that I had been suffering from Meatal Stenosis. (Scarring and narrowing of the urinary opening.) At nearly 40 years of age, I was finally cured of it.

Foreskin restoration has reduced the look of my scars, improved the function of my penis, and improved my overall mental, physical, and sexual health. My restored foreskin is not as good as the original equipment left to rot in a medical waste bin in 1974, but it is SO much better than the alternative.

I have had enough foreskin now to know what both sides of circumcision feel like, and it is no contest. Foreskin is simply better in each and every way. There really is no excuse to remove a body part this valuable and functional without a medical reason.

My own parents, when I was a child, were just like all the pro-circumcision parents I try to educate today. They were convinced I was, “fine.” I was a happy child, and I didn't know any better. When asked, my parents were proud of their decision. They would recommend it to their friends because of how happy THEY were with the configuration of MY penis. My not knowing any different seemed all the permission they needed.

But they didn't know the reality. They never could, and never can. If you cut your sons, neither can YOU.

When I hear men brag about their penis, and claim, “I'm cut, and I'm fine,” I laugh, because I know the truth. The more insecure a man is about his penis, the more he'll lie and claim everything is fine. Everything is fantastic, “I am so very, very happy happy with my penis!” It is a lie, and an evasion. It is what men do to cope with their insecurities.

I know. I used to be the King of Denial. I used to say those very same things. It takes a VERY brave man to admit his penis is less than what it should be. I would have walked into burning buildings, or into a war zone without blinking, but to admit my penis was flawed was something I didn't have courage enough to admit.

I'm sorry to say, if you cut your child, you will probably never know the damages you have done. Boys and men are not wired to talk openly and honestly with their parents about this. A man will die before he lets anyone think there is anything wrong with his penis, or his masculinity.

You can claim all you want that your son is "FINE." However, you just can't and you will likely never know the actual truth. He may not be able to face the truth himself. More than anyone else, he will lie to himself.

There is no way to know how much skin a baby boy will require for his full grown penis. It is NOT something that can be predicted. Doctors have to guess. They can and do guess wrong more than they guess right. The truth is, your son needs all of what he is born with. No amount is the right amount to remove and destroy.

It took restoring my foreskin to finally make me admit out loud what had been wrong for so very long. Now, I brave the insults and ridicule I receive to spread education about the abomination that is genital cutting.

I speak out against genital cutting because I know first hand how horrible it really is. I know what the circumcised child is missing. I know what he can suffer. I know what you've put him at risk for. I've experienced it.

I've researched every aspect of it, and there is no excuse to take this pleasure away from another person.

Make no mistake, the foreskin is erogenous tissue. It is more pleasurable to have one than to NOT have one. It IS a valuable part of the penis. It is an organ with specialized functions that make a man's life better. Its loss is not insignificant. It is NOT just skin.

If you want more information about foreskin restoration please visit, www.norm.org

To future parents, don't just research circumcision. Research the foreskin.

If men wern't supposed to have foreskins they would not be born with them.

Published in Newborn Health

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