Sexuality

Search Our Site

×

Warning

JUser: :_load: Unable to load user with ID: 21931

When are You Ready for Sex After Birth?

Sunday, 22 September 2013 09:31
Rate this item
(3 votes)

One of the many things that every new mom hears about after they have a baby, is to refrain from sex for roughly six weeks. The reasoning behind this is so that any tears, abrasions, or cuts heal, as well as to give your cervix enough time to close and the postpartum bleeding to stop.  And while the main concern is that your cervix is open which makes you more susceptible to infections and pregnancy, there is also the concern about you as a person. A lot of people forget to think that at six weeks you might be physically ready, but you might not be mentally or emotionally ready just yet.

After forty weeks of growing a baby and feeling like your body isn't quite yours anymore, you give birth and start to feel like your body is yours again. The changes you go through physically and mentally for those weeks are massive. You're not just a woman anymore- you're also a mom. You and your partner will need to learn all that it means for you. So now even your head space is different, because you're thinking of the baby and if they're still asleep, are they cold, could they be hungry and so on.

The most important thing when it comes to having sex again is communication. Your partner has no idea what you're thinking or feeling unless you tell them. Your body is different now, so things have shifted and stretched. If you're nursing you could be a bit dry, your nipples could be hypersensitive, and those rough calloused hands of your partner you used to like could feel painful now. If you don't like something, even if it was your most favorite thing before the baby was born, speak up. It's not going to be helpful to anyone to hold something inside when this is the time you need to be the most honest.

It's very important for your partner to recognize that sometimes even if the body is willing the mind is not. After spending the whole day taking care of someone, there will be times when the last thing you want to do is take care of yet another person. Sometimes you just need the night just to relax in a warm bath and the best thing your partner can do is watch the little one for an hour or so to allow you some quality bubble bath time. Talk to your partner about what's on your mind- even if you think its something little.

And just because the six weeks are up doesn't mean you need to jump right back into having sex. Sometimes it takes people months or even years to feel comfortable or even want to have sex again, and others are ready in a few weeks. But what's important is that you are ready on your own time. Some partners may pressure or try to convince the new mom to have sex sooner. Whenever you are ready is soon enough; your partner will just have to deal with it.

If it turns out that you're not ready to have sex right now there are other ways of having intimacy. Just cuddling or holding hands can be enough after a long day. Little love notes on the bathroom mirror remind each other that while you are now parents you still love and care for each other. Also nothing is sexier then seeing your partner doing dishes or cleaning the house for you.

Read 4301 times Last modified on Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:05

Hi, my name is Chaela. My husband and I have been married almost two years. We have a 18 month old girl, Akira, and are due in November with a boy. Akira is a boobie baby and we will hopefully be tandem nursing come November. We cosleep, its more she lets us sleep with her :-) , delay some vaccines, baby wear, extend rearface, baby sign language, and breastfeeding for how ever long the baby wants too. We are a tattooed and pierced family and I also run the Badass Breastfeeding Moms in Michigan, Facebook group. 

More in this category: « My Journey After Sexual Abuse

Stay Notified

Keep up to date with changes and updates with newsletter via email . Contests, new articles and much more!